Caroline's Secret Read online

  “Danki,” he said to Danny as his cousin began to help him unwind all the wrappings. Together they carried the furniture through the back door of the shop.

  “So what happened with Sarah yesterday? I saw you talking to her.”

  Andrew set down his end of the bench. “We talked about how I’m not ready to start courtin’ and that I have a cousin who insists on interfering with my decisions.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  “And that if he’s not careful, he could wind up getting her hopes up for something that is never going to happen.”

  “Sarah told Julie that you told her that she would be the first to know when you are ready.”

  “That’s not exactly what I said.” He made his way back outside and waited for his cousin to come take up his end of the next piece.

  “That seems to be what she heard.”

  Andrew sighed. He’d come to Oklahoma to get away from his troubles with women. It seemed that he had traded grief for two women he had no idea what to do with: one who wanted to spend time with him, and one whom he wanted to spend time with.

  The thought brought him up short. He must have jerked, stilled, or jumped. Whatever he did, it brought Danny’s attention around to him.

  “You allrecht?”

  Andrew nodded, unable to speak. “Jah,” he finally croaked, but the word was anything but convincing. He wanted to spend time with Caroline. More than time. He wanted to get to know her. Discover why she had come to Wells Landing from Tennessee. Find out all there was to know about Emma’s father. Everything there was to know about Caroline.

  Danny continued to talk as they carried the second bench and then the table into the storeroom.

  “Okay, Andrew?”

  “What?” Andrew looked from his cousin to his uncle.

  When had Onkle come into the room?

  “I asked if you wanted to come to eat with me tonight,” Danny repeated.

  “Nay.”

  “You didn’t even let me say who I was eating with.”

  Andrew shook his head. “I don’t want to know.” But he did want to go see Caroline.

  “You like her.” Danny’s words were filled with surprise.

  Had he said that last part out loud?

  “Jah.” There. He’d admitted it. He liked Caroline Hostetler. Maybe even more than liked. He wanted to go see her. See Emma. Spend time with them. Drink lemonade. Play board games. Get to know each other better.

  “Ach, that’s gut.” Abe wiped his hands on a rag, then stuffed it in his back pocket. “She’s a good one, that Caroline.”

  Andrew smiled, getting used to the idea of liking someone even if it felt a little too soon since Beth had died. But maybe this was all part of God’s plan.

  Abe patted him on the back and hobbled toward the door of the shop. “Polish this up and wait on the Englisch to come by and pick it up, then you can take the rest of the day off. ”

  He was going to need it. It was going to take some time to fully embrace the idea of liking Caroline Hostetler. He smiled to himself. But it was a challenge he was looking forward to conquering.

  Caroline pulled a large pan of sourdough rolls from the oven and sat them on the cooling rack. Her eyes flickered to the wall and the large industrial clock that hung there.

  Today had slowed to a crawl as she waited for . . . what? What exactly was she waiting for? Andrew to come down and apologize? Say he was glad he had kissed her? Or that he was remorseful because his heart still belonged to another?

  She sighed. The last was the most logical. It hadn’t been so very long since he had lost his love. It had been two years since she had last seen Trey. And she knew deep down that she would most probably never see him again. They had made their choices. No sense going back on it now.

  “What’s wrong, liebschen?”

  “Nix.”

  Esther shook her head. “You and I both know that is not the truth.”

  Caroline sighed again. Checked the clock again. Shook her own head.

  “Andrew?” Esther asked.

  “Jah.” He had been on her mind nonstop since the night before. She had hardly slept, hardly eaten, barely dragged herself to work. Not that lying about would be any more productive. She needed to talk to Andrew. Clear the air, figure out what had happened between them the night before.

  Truth was she needed to hear him say it, that he was still in love with another and he had no right kissing her the way he did.

  Once he said that, she could start pushing it from her mind, right where it belonged.

  “Why don’t you walk down to the furniture store and talk to him?”

  The strings on her prayer kapp swayed as she shook her head. “Nay.” It would never do for her to be so forward as to walk down there and demand he talk to her. The idea was as brazen as the English. Her Swartzentruber upbringing would not allow that.

  Esther patted her arm. “I don’t think he’d think less of you.”

  “Nay,” Caroline repeated. She would have to wait until her opportunity to talk to Andrew.

  Somehow she knew he would be down to talk to her. Eventually. She would just bide her time and bite her lip until he came to see her.

  It was Thursday morning before Andrew got the courage to walk down to the bakery and talk to Caroline. Even then, she was in the park, no doubt having lunch with Lorie and Emily. But when he made his way across the street, he found her sitting at a table staring at a sandwich. She was alone.

  “Mind if I sit down?”

  Her head jerked up and her eyes widened. She swallowed hard and gave a nod.

  He stepped over the picnic table bench and sat directly across from her. “I’ve been meaning to come down and see you.” For the last four days he had been thinking about what he wanted to say to her. Mulling over what needed to be talked about. Now the words deserted him.

  “Jah”, she agreed, staring at some point above the crown of his hat.

  “I . . . I guess I should say I’m sorry for kissing you, but that’s not the truth.”

  Her gaze whipped to his.

  “I know we had an agreement and all, but . . .” He held his hands out palms up.

  “But what?” she asked on a whisper. Her hands nervously folded a paper napkin until it was no bigger than a quarter.

  He took her trembling fingers into his own, stilling their busy motions. “But I think God brought me here for a reason.”

  She shook her head, a myriad of mixed emotions swimming in her hazel eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Andrew smiled. “Jah or nay would be a gut start.”

  “What about Beth?”

  He still held her hands in his, and he gave them a reassuring squeeze. “I guess this goes to show that God’s plan is in His time.”

  She dropped her gaze to their joined hands.

  “We don’t have to make any commitment or promises. I know you are dealing with the loss of Emma’s father. We can just take it slow and see where it leads us. We could come out of this just friends or . . .”

  “Or what?”

  “Or more.” He offered a small shrug. “I don’t know what will happen.”

  “Are you asking to court me?”

  A small smile trembled on his lips. “I guess I am.”

  It seemed hours before she answered. “Allrecht then,” she finally said. “We’ll take it slow.”

  Happy warmth burst in his chest. He squeezed her trembling fingers between his own. No firm plans, just a promise to get to know one another better. But in the beauty of her smile, he saw the future and it was gut.

  The bell over the bakery chimed its warning. Esther looked up to see Caroline walk in.

  “Did you have a gut middawk?” Esther asked.

  “Um . . . Jah,” Caroline answered. “Andrew met me out there.”

  “I know. He came by here looking for you. I sent him over there. Did you get a chance to talk?”

  “Jah.” She went to the sink and washed her hands,
concentrating on the task with more attention than it truly warranted.

  Something must have happened during Caroline’s break that dazed her.

  The thought had no sooner crossed Esther’s mind than Andrew opened the bakery door, sticking his head inside. “I forgot. Would you like to come out to the farm tonight? I thought we could have supper and maybe let Emma play with the puppies for a while.”

  “That sounds gut.”

  “I’ll come by in the buggy about seven, jah?”

  “We’ll be ready.”

  “You too, Esther.”

  Esther swung her attention back to Andrew. “Me?”

  “Jah. I’m sure Onkle would love to have you over as well.”

  She certainly hoped so. They’d had a gut time together Sunday, but she couldn’t say that he’d made any indication that they would ever be anything more than freinden.

  “See you tonight.” He gave them a wave and started back down the street toward the furniture store.

  Esther turned to Caroline. “Would you like to tell me what that was about?”

  Caroline shook her head. “Nix,” she said, drying her hands on a paper towel and throwing it into the trash. “Andrew wants us to get to know each other better.”

  Esther clapped her hands together in sheer glee. “Oh, that is gut! Like dating?”

  “Like seeing if maybe we might want to court.”

  Esther propped her hands on her hips and studied her young friend. “That doesn’t sound definite at all.”

  Caroline shrugged. “We’re going to take it slow.”

  They might be saying that, but if two people ever belonged together, it was Andrew and Caroline. Little Emma needed a father in her life, and if Esther had even one thing to say about it, that father would be Andrew Fitch.

  Dear Mamm,

  For all the differences there are between Wells Landing and Ethridge, there seems to be more that is the same. Sunday Andrew and I went to a friend’s house for a volleyball game. It’s been a long time since I went to any youth meetings, and I had such a very gut time. Andrew stayed with Emma while she napped, and I actually got to play. It was fun to get out there with the others and just play. I don’t regret that I have Emma. I love her so very much, but it was good to get a little break and relax for a while.

  Andrew moved here from Missouri. I think his district is more conservative than Wells Landing, but not as much as Ethridge. Still, he knows how to drive a tractor as well as a horse and buggy. He lives with his uncle Abe on a farm, though Abe Fitch doesn’t farm. He is a furniture maker and leases the land to horse breeders to run their stock. Oh, Mamm, you should see these horses! They are so beautiful with shiny coats and soft noses. I hadn’t realized how much I missed the horses we owned there in Tennessee. How I wish Dat could see these great animals on Abe’s farm. He would love it out there. It’s so schee. But for all my wants, I know that will never be. All I can do is say a prayer and try not to worry. I’ll leave it all in the Lord’s hands.

  Love to you and Dat always.

  Love,

  Caroline

  Chapter Thirteen

  Just as he promised, Andrew pulled the buggy to a stop in front of the bakery at seven that evening.

  Caroline called for Esther and gathered up her bag and Emma. Together the four of them headed out to the farm.

  The trip to Abe’s house was quiet, but in a good way. Despite Caroline’s protests, Esther sat in the back with Emma while Caroline herself sat on the front seat next to Andrew.

  Neither one spoke much. It was as if words weren’t necessary between them, and for that Caroline was grateful. She had been worried that after their kiss, after their talk and decision to see where their relationship might take them, things between them might be awkward. But it simply felt natural sitting there next to him as they drove.

  Andrew pointed out a deer in a pasture, a pretty cloud, and other sights as they rode along side by side. All too soon they pulled into the farm.

  Andrew helped Caroline down from the buggy, his hands not lingering longer than necessary on her waist, but her skin still tingled where he touched her. In turn, he helped Esther down and scooped Emma into his arms as if he had been doing it her entire life. Together they walked into the house.

  Caroline was swamped with the feeling of family. Suddenly she wondered if their decision was a good one. What would happen if they didn’t work out? Would she end up with her heart broken? What about Emma and all that she needed in her life?

  Lord, I trust You to lead us where we are meant to go. I put my life in Your hands. I know that You will always protect us and keep us from harm. Aemen.

  “Caroline?”

  She opened her eyes and turned to Andrew. She could see the questions in his expression. He knew she was praying but he wouldn’t ask what about.

  “Will you help me get supper on the table?” He sat Emma down in the middle of the living room floor, taking out her doll for her to hold.

  Caroline followed him into the kitchen. The supper table looked as if it was ready for them to sit down and enjoy their meal.

  “I really didn’t need any help,” he said with a grin. “But I wanted to give them time to be alone.”

  Caroline laughed. “You are a very gut matchmaker, Andrew Fitch.”

  He shrugged. “I want to make sure that Onkle Abe has someone to take care of him.”

  “For when you go back to Missouri?”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but you know Onkle.” She did. “Can you think of anyone who needs to be taken care of any more than him?”

  “Nay,” Caroline said with another chuckle. But in the back of her mind, the thought still lingered. What would it mean for them if Andrew went home to Missouri? How much of her heart would he take with him?

  “The puppies have grown so much,” Andrew said as he opened the barn door and led them into the dim interior.

  She heard them before she saw them. At the sound of their entry, the squirmy puppies started barking out a warning.

  “They’d make gut watchdogs, jah?” Caroline said over the din.

  Emma placed her hands over her ears. Andrew laughed at her antics and pulled back the door to the stall.

  Black-and-white puppies scampered over to them, some barking, others not, all of them wagging their tiny tails. Caroline sat Emma down, and the toddler immediately fell into the hay, nose to nose with the tiny pups.

  It wasn’t hard to pick out the little runt that Caroline had fallen half in love with when they were last on the farm. He was still so much smaller than his brothers and sisters, a little behind the others, pushed around by their bigger bodies.

  Caroline bent and scooped him up, chuckling as he licked her face. She scratched him behind the ears, enjoying the silky fur beneath her fingertips.

  Once again she was surrounded with nostalgia, a keen sense of homesickness. She blinked back sudden tears. There was nothing left for her in Tennessee. Her father wouldn’t speak her name, and her mother would never stand up to him.

  “You hear that?” Andrew cocked his head to one side and listened. Caroline wasn’t sure how he could hear anything over the puppy yelps, so she shook her head. “It’s raining,” he said.

  Puppy still in her arms, Caroline went back to the large doors. Sure enough, the rain that had threatened all afternoon finally won its battle in the sky. Soft rain fell onto the green fields, lending the farm a softened look. The peacefulness of it all made Caroline want to sigh. It was that beautiful.

  Andrew stood behind her holding Emma as rain fell outside. The soft sounds of the stabled horses along with the silly puppies echoed all around. And for a time, everything seemed perfect.

  They stood and watched the rain until it stopped a few minutes later.

  Andrew took her hand and together they walked with Emma back to the house.

  “Look, Emma.” Andrew pointed to the sky.

  Caroline looked up to see a bright rainbow arching over the
house, stretching from side to side in the blue sky.

  A sense of harmony washed over Caroline. Of well-being. Of God’s promise.

  He had provided everything she ever needed in her entire life. He had always been there. God had never forsaken her. He had led her to Oklahoma, and He would see her through.

  The rainbow was a reminder that all things gut come to those who wait, who stand true through the storm, and who believe.

  Sunday came with the church service to be held at the bishop’s haus.

  Caroline had gone over the day before to help Emily and her family get ready to host the service.

  She always enjoyed Sundays at Emily’s. Maybe it was because Emily’s father Cephas Ebersol was the bishop in their district. Or maybe it was the fact that Emily’s mother felt it her duty as the bishop’s wife to uphold their family as the epitome of a Godly life. But everything always seemed to be in the proper order. Cakes perfect, windows shined, everything neat and pressed.

  The other thing that Caroline loved about church at Emily’s was that the Ebersols had enough room to hold church in the actual house. It was a rare treat for certain since most services were held in the barns.

  Which was a perfectly fine place to hold services. Amish barns were kept clean and orderly as far as barns go. But Caroline enjoyed sitting in the house, surrounded by unadorned white walls and clear-paned windows.

  The house smelled like lemon furniture polish and floor wax as they filed into the main room where the benches had been set up for church. Most of the back benches were already filled, along with the cushioned seats that were provided in back for the weak and infirm.

  Caroline said a small prayer that Emma wouldn’t grow too fussy during the service and made her way to the middle of the room. She chose the bench as close to the back as she could get. She couldn’t stop her smile when she saw that Andrew was seated directly opposite her.

  He nodded in her direction, doing his best to hide the smile playing around his lips.