Caroline's Secret Read online

  She clipped the speaker to the band of her apron and made her way back into the bakery kitchen.

  In Tennessee, she would have never challenged her church leaders in such a manner, especially in her conservative district. But Esther was feisty, a fighter in her own right, having survived the tragic death of her husband and starting her own business instead of bowing to the traditions and getting married again.

  Caroline wasn’t used to such forward thinking. A widowed woman—any woman—wanting to start her own business would have been denied the right by her bishop and that would have been that. And baby monitors? Definitely not allowed. They didn’t even have indoor plumbing!

  “Emma asleep?” Esther asked as she washed her hands and prepared to start the preacher’s cake.

  “Like a baby,” Caroline replied with a soft smile.

  Esther returned it with a smile of her own. “They don’t stay babies long.”

  “Nay.” Already Emma was growing up, each day able to accomplish a little more than the day before.

  She only wished her parents could see their only grandchild. And that Emma’s father could see the miracle that they had created.

  It had been a long time since Trey had filled her thoughts. Almost as long since she wished things could have been different. But if they had been different, then she would not have come here, met Esther, Lorie, and Emily, Andrew and Abe. How different her life would have been if things had not turned out the way they had.

  “Esther, do you believe that my coming here was God’s will?”

  “Of course I do,” Esther answered without hesitation. “What else could have brought you to Wells Landing?”

  Caroline shrugged and started measuring flour into a large mixing bowl. She stretched up on her tiptoes to get the baking powder, and succeeded in once again smearing the front of her apron with flour.

  From the front of the shop, the doorbell tinkled out its alert.

  Esther wiped her hands on a dish towel and covered the loaf of bread she had been shaping with a clean, dry towel. “I’ll get it.”

  Caroline pushed all thoughts of Trey from her mind and got down to the business of baking.

  Dear Mamm and Dat,

  Oklahoma is as beautiful as I remembered. Wells Landing hasn’t grown very much in the last few years. Esther Lapp still owns the bakery on the corner at Main Street and Sycamore. Cephas Ebersol is still the bishop. It’s strange to me how one man can be open-minded and conservative at the same time, but Cephas is well practiced at listening to his members and balancing their needs against what the Bible tells us is right.

  You were right about Onkle Abe, he is absentminded for sure. I’m not sure why he never married, if only to have someone look after him. I miss being there with you. Jah, I miss the food most of all. But Kauffman’s is still as gut as it always was. Though I am thankful that Lizzie made me learn how to cook. She was worried about me taking care of Beth. Funny how things change.

  Danny is wanting me to date. I keep telling him it is too early for me. I may not ever be ready again. I know this isn’t true, but right now I can’t even imagine loving another the way I loved Beth. I know Danny means well. He just wants to see me happy and settled down. I think he and Julie will announce their intentions soon. I am happy for him, of course, and I wish him all of the best.

  Give my love to Becky and the rest of my shveshtah. Believe it or not, I miss them all.

  Miss you too.

  All my love,

  Andrew

  Chapter Four

  “So what about it?”

  Andrew hung his hat on the peg just inside the door and blinked a couple of times until his eyes adjusted to the artificial light in the furniture store. “What about what?” he asked Danny.

  “Sarah.” Danny’s voice was ripe with impatience. “What about going to dinner with Sarah?”

  “I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to give her the wrong idea.”

  “And what idea would that be?”

  “That there’s a chance of more.”

  “More than dinner?” Danny scoffed. “Girls aren’t like that around here.”

  “Girls are like that everywhere,” Andrew countered. “Aren’t they, Onkle?”

  “Eh?” Abe looked from one of them to the other, then shrugged and started staining the bench once again.

  “I’m telling you, it’s just a dinner with friends.”

  “And I’m telling you that I’m not ready.”

  Danny frowned at him. “What about Caroline?”

  “What about her?”

  “Would you go if it was with Caroline instead of Sarah?”

  “Caroline is just my friend.”

  “I thought all girls were the same.”

  “Caroline is different,” Andrew said, already tired of the argument. Maybe he should give in just so he didn’t have to listen to Danny talk about it all day long. “If I agree to go to dinner with Sarah, will you let it rest?”

  Danny grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

  Andrew still wasn’t sure how or why he let Danny talk him into this.

  He pulled on his suspenders and combed his dark hair. And wondered what Sarah Yoder felt about being set up on a date.

  A small pang of guilt rang through him. Wasn’t this the very thing he and Caroline had vowed to do for Abe and Esther?

  He shook the feeling away. That was different.

  How many times had he said that over the course of the last couple of days?

  “Onkle, I’m leaving now.”

  A rumbling grunt was his only response. Abe Fitch’s nose was buried in a catalog of wood samples. How was a guy supposed to get his attention?

  With a shake of his head, Andrew let himself out of the house and made his way over to the tractor. He’d have taken the horse and buggy if he hadn’t waited until the last minute to get dressed and out the door. As it was now, he’d still be a little late even with the faster mode of transportation.

  He swung himself into the cab and started the engine.

  He remembered the way Caroline had thrown her hand back to keep her prayer kapp from flying off in the wind and the look of sheer joy on her face as they motored down the country roads.

  Her district seemed even more conservative than his home in Missouri if she had never even ridden in a tractor. Then again, maybe it was just something that he was used to. He’d spent a couple of summers here a few years back, helping his uncles with their trade. His uncle Joe, Abe’s brother and Danny’s father, had a big farm just south of town. That was where he was headed tonight. Dinner with the Fitch clan. Well, at least with Danny. And Julie. And Sarah.

  Andrew sighed as he steered the tractor up the drive leading to his onkle Joe’s big, rambling house. He didn’t know for certain how many times it had been added on to, but from the jutting legs of newly painted additions, he’d say four or five.

  Joe Fitch lived there with his own father, Jacob, his three sons, two daughters and several grosskinner. It was a big, typical Amish household. Andrew just wished he wasn’t dreading the evening so much.

  He pulled the tractor to the side of the barn. He should have never agreed to this dinner.

  “Ach, there you are.” Danny rushed out of the house and over to where Andrew was climbing out of the tractor cab.

  “Did you think I’d be somewhere else?” Like any of the thousands of places he’d rather be.

  Suddenly Caroline’s sweet face popped into his head. Dinner with her, that was something he could look forward to. That and their plans for getting Esther and Abe to be a couple.

  What was it that made Caroline so different?

  She doesn’t want anything from you, the voice inside whispered.

  And that meant that she didn’t want anything that he wasn’t able to give. Unlike others around him.

  “Cousin.” Danny all but snapped his fingers under Andrew’s nose. “Are you listening to me?”

&
nbsp; Andrew shook himself into focus. “Jah. Are you certain this is a gut idea?” Surely it wouldn’t be all that bad. Jah, he was having supper with Sarah, but it wasn’t so much like a date. There would be other people there: his onkle and his other cousins, his aenti and Danny’s intended, Julie. As long as there was a big group of people, how could Sarah misinterpret his intentions?

  “Of course it is.” Danny steered him toward the back of the house. A large oak tree stood tall and proud, its mighty limbs shadowing a wooden picnic table.

  Andrew’s steps faltered, but luckily he caught himself before he fell headlong into the grass. “Is this where we’re eating?”

  It wasn’t the smartest question. The table had been covered with a vinyl tablecloth and set for four. Julie sat on one side of the table while Sarah sat on the other.

  “Nice, huh?”

  “Danny.” Andrew’s voice was full of warning, but Danny either didn’t hear or was ignoring him completely. Andrew figured it was a case of sheer disregard.

  “Hi, Andrew.” Julie half stood in greeting, but Sarah only dropped her gaze as if too shy to fully look at him.

  “Hi, Julie. Sarah.” He climbed stiffly over the bench seat and settled in. Best get this over with.

  Danny remained standing. “How about a game of horseshoes before we get started?”

  He barely got the words out of his mouth before Andrew shook his head.

  “I’m really hungry,” he lied and immediately felt bad. His cousin’s matchmaking efforts had him going against his raisin’. He’d been taught never to lie, but how was he

  supposed to remain a gentleman and not break the girl’s heart without telling a fib or two?

  Andrew glared at his cousin as the girls went into the house to fetch their dinner.

  “What?” Danny asked innocently.

  Andrew just shook his head. It was too late now.

  Sarah and Julie came back out with plates of meat loaf and bread stacked on top of plastic containers filled with potato salad, coleslaw, and fresh-cut vegetables from the garden.

  Andrew had to admit that it was a fine meal, but every time he moved he seemed to bump into Sarah.

  “Excuse me,” he murmured for what had to be the hundredth time.

  “Would you like some meat loaf?” Sarah passed him the platter.

  “I’m full. Danki.” Lie number two. But he took the platter from her and placed it in the center of the table.

  He could eat another plate full for sure and for certain, but the longer he took to eat, the harder it would be to get out of there without hurting Sarah’s feelings.

  “Too full for dessert?” Julie asked the question, and it took everything Andrew had not to turn his stare on Danny. His cousin knew better than anyone that his sweet tooth was as big as a house.

  “Sarah made strawberry pie.” Julie stood and started gathering up their dinner plates.

  What could he do but accept? He leaned back in his seat, thankful to have a little room as Sarah stood and started helping Julie. Andrew patted his stomach. “I think I can find room for one slice.”

  It was after dark when he returned back to the farm. He pulled the tractor into the barn and closed the big double doors behind him.

  The night sky was full of stars, and he found his steps slowing as he neared the house.

  Suddenly he wished that he lived closer to town, or that he could make a feasible excuse to “drop in” and see Caroline.

  He shook his head at his own foolishness. Caroline most probably had to get up before the sun tomorrow, maybe even before most of the farmers in the area. If she wasn’t asleep, she was most assuredly in for the night.

  Tomorrow. He could always find an excuse to wander down to the bakery tomorrow and see how she was doing.

  Probably the lamest thought he had ever had, but he just wanted to see her. Look into those hazel eyes of his new friend.

  There was nothing wrong with that, jah? He and Caroline had made their pact. They knew what to expect from the other. But maybe he should tell her about Sarah just in case. Not that there was anything going on between the two of them—him and Sarah or Caroline and him. But it wouldn’t hurt to be up front about Danny’s matchmaking efforts. He surely wouldn’t want Caroline to find out that he had been seeing Sarah and jump to the wrong conclusions.

  It was settled. Tomorrow he would walk down to the bakery and explain his relationship with Sarah to Caroline.

  A small smile on his face at the thought of seeing Caroline the following day, Andrew loped up the porch stairs and let himself into the house.

  As soon as he finished staining this table, he was heading down to the bakery to see Caroline. Andrew had told himself that the trip would serve a dual purpose. He could tell her about Sarah and get a quick snack at the same time—but he was just kidding himself. He wanted to see her. She had become important to him in some strange way. Most probably because she was so easy to talk to. Yet he felt she had secrets to keep.

  He took a step back and examined the table top. It was the beautiful amber and rose color of cedar, a fine contrast. He had only wanted to bring out the natural grain and had decided to clear-coat it for shine and protection. A body would think that clear would be easier to apply than color, but this particular piece was giving him fits. Or maybe it was the two women on his mind.

  “I think Sarah really had a gut time last night.”

  Andrew sighed and tried not to shake his head at it all. “Danny, I don’t think your dinner last night gave Sarah the right notions about me.”

  Danny only smiled and patted him on the back. “Cousin, it’s time that you started dating again.”

  But Andrew shook his head. He might not be ready for a while. The Amish believed that everything happened within God’s will. When it was time for him to date again, it would happen, and without Danny’s interference.

  But that was just Danny, a little wrapped up in his own world, unable to see beyond today. He had no idea how hard it was for Andrew to stand by Beth’s parents as they laid her to rest. Knowing that she was ill and wouldn’t live to be more than thirty years old did not ease the pain of her loss any. He would date again . . . only when he was ready.

  Telling Danny that would be like talking to the table top he’d just polished.

  There were a couple of bubbles that popped up on one edge. They would need to be sanded out and refilled. But that could wait until after he saw Caroline.

  “I’m going to get a snack.” Andrew wiped his hands on a nearby rag, then tossed it onto the untidy workbench. He’d clean up the mess when he got back. Until then, he needed a break from Danny’s scheming and his own swirling thoughts.

  He had just settled his hat on his head when the bell over the door rang.

  Danny went to check on their visitor, his voice making its way clearly into the back room where Andrew stood. “Why, Sarah. How nice to see you today.”

  Andrew exhaled. This day was not turning out at all like he had intended.

  He unclenched his jaw and made his way to the front of the shop. Sarah was waiting there, looking uncomfortable. He had a feeling that she was unaccustomed to being this forward with a man. She seemed the shy type, which was most probably how she reached the age of twenty without a suitor or two.

  “Sarah, goedemiddag,” Andrew said, offering her a stiff smile.

  “Hi,” she said, her blush deepening. She was a pretty girl, pale brown hair and clear blue eyes. And he was certain she would make a man a fine Amish bride. Just not him.

  “What brings you by today?”

  “Oh.” She started as if just remembering why she was there. “I brought you something to eat.” She held up a brown paper sack. Then her expression fell. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

  Andrew was fairly certain he’d used up all his white lies at last night’s supper. “Nay,” he said as Danny smiled.

  His cousin meant well, Andrew knew, but if Danny kept interfering, Sarah might just end up
with a broken heart.

  “Danki,” he said, motioning toward the door of the shop. “Would you join me?”

  Sarah turned the color of his mother’s winter roses, a deep pink. “That would be gut. Danki.”

  “Take your time,” Danny called as Andrew followed Sarah out into the warm Oklahoma sunshine.

  The park was the natural place to go share the contents of the paper sack. It was a little early for lunch, too late for breakfast. With any luck there wouldn’t be many more people milling around than necessary. He didn’t know why he felt the need to keep this meeting a secret, but the fewer people who knew meant the fewer people to ask questions.

  For all their talk about the sins of gossip, Amish people loved to go on and on about community happenings. Call them rumors or caring talk, the fact still remained: News of Andrew sitting with Sarah in the park would make the rounds between frolics, sister’s days, and the idle chitchat at the market.

  He found a picnic table and slid into one side. Unlike last night, he sat across from her.

  “Sarah, I—”

  She stopped pulling food out of the bag and instead turned her attention to him. “Jah?”

  Some of his courage drained. Truth was, he didn’t have a lot of experience with girls. He had never courted another, only Beth. They had known from the start that they were destined to be together; there were never any awkward moments lingering between them, just a gentle understanding.

  “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression about me.”

  She nodded, and he felt encouraged to continue. “I don’t know what Danny has been telling you, but I’m not here to court anybody.”

  She crumpled up the empty bag and folded her hands in her lap. “You have a broken heart,” she said simply.

  He blinked, a bit stunned by her words. “Did Danny say something?”

  She shook her head. “I can see it in your eyes.” The wind stirred the strings on her prayer kapp as her lips formed a sweet smile.

  In that instant he wished it could be different. He wished he could fall in love with the woman seated across from him. But she deserved a man who loved her first, foremost, and forever.